By Seth Naicker

My journey in understanding the rights, dignity, and leadership of women did not begin in a classroom or at a conference. It began at home. My first teacher was my dear mom, Elenor Joyce Naicker.

She is a courageous, determined, and visionary leader who has always been willing to use her gifts, skills, and voice in pursuit of what she believes is right. Growing up, I witnessed how society, with its deeply embedded patriarchal systems, traditions, and unwritten rules, often attempted to diminish her leadership. Yet, with the unwavering support of her beloved husband, my late dad, David Naicker, she refused to be silenced.

Together, they navigated and overcame many of the systemic barriers designed to delay, discourage, and devalue women in leadership, service, witness, and work. Watching them taught me that justice is not only preached – it is lived.

One of my earliest lessons was this: women need the courage to take risks, and they also need allies who are willing to take risks alongside them to dismantle injustice.

My journey was profoundly shaped again through my relationship with my partner, best friend, and wife, Merrishia Singh-Naicker. Our relationship has become one of the greatest spaces of transformation in my life. Merrishia has helped recondition, redeem, and rescue my thinking from many of the assumptions of toxic patriarchy that our status quo world often programmes into us as men.

Through courageous conversations, honest reflection, and our covenant of love, she has continually challenged me to confront my own biases, prejudice, male privilege, and the unhealthy expressions of masculinity and patriarchy that society too easily normalises. She has loved me deeply while refusing to allow me to remain comfortable with injustice.

I have learned that women are not only leaders – they are mentors, truth-tellers, and transformative teachers. Listening to women with humility and sincerity is essential if we are serious about advancing gender justice.

My understanding deepened during my theological studies at Bethel University, where I had the privilege of learning under Dr. Karen McKinney and Dr. Lidija Novakovic. Their teaching challenged me to engage Scripture through the lenses of justice, equality, equity, and historical context.

They invited us to examine how faith has too often been used to reinforce unequal systems, while also discovering how the Gospel consistently calls us toward liberation, dignity, and beloved community. Another important lesson: having women as professors, mentors, and educational leaders expands our understanding of leadership beyond the narrow confines of male dominance within educational institutions.

Another significant influence came through serving in a church where women exercised ordained leadership. At Sanctuary Covenant Church, I witnessed the ministry of Rev. Cecilia Williams, who faithfully preached, pastored, counselled, and shepherded our congregation. Her leadership demonstrated that God’s calling is not limited by gender but empowered through faithfulness, gifting, and service.

When women occupy visible leadership within churches and faith communities, entire congregations – children, youth, adults, and families – experience the richness and fullness of God’s gifts expressed through women and men together.

Women serving in executive and pastoral leadership help faith communities experience, in practice, the wisdom, gifts, and leadership that women bring to the life and witness of the Church.

A significant turning point in my journey came during the COVID-19 pandemic. I was invited by Dr. Nontando Hadebe to participate in a growing network of theologians, ministers, and faith-inspired activists who gathered weekly to reflect on justice, faith, and our collective response to the crises facing our society. As those conversations evolved, Dr. Hadebe challenged us to intentionally focus our energy on mobilising faith communities to end gender-based violence (GBV).

In June 2023, I formally joined the Faith Action Collective to End GBV, beginning a new chapter of intentional learning, advocacy, and mobilisation. Along this journey, I have had the privilege of learning from remarkable leaders, including Daniela Gennrich, Bishop Lucas Morena, Karabo Mmamabolo, Mahadi Buthelezi, Merrishia Singh-Naicker, and many others.

Today, I am grateful to serve within the Fathers Matter Interfaith Action Group, where we intentionally mobilise men through initiatives such as Fathers Matter to End GBV, Coaching Men for Gender Justice, and Men as Allies to End GBV. This journey has taught me that ending GBV requires far more than awareness. It demands courageous leadership, intersectional thinking, collaborative partnerships, accountability, and sustained action.

Together, Merrishia and I have had the privilege of designing and facilitating workshops such as The Power of Story to End GBV and Fathers Matter to End GBV, drawing on the national work of Heartlines together with the commitments and resources of the Faith Action Collective. These workshops and social impact initiatives have been delivered in communities across South Africa. Through the Faith Leaders Gender Transformation Programme, we have witnessed efforts to end GBV grow nationally, across Africa, and internationally.

Another lesson I continue to learn: no individual, organisation, or faith community can end GBV alone. We need communities that intentionally choose to work together, learn together, and mobilise together.

The urgency of this work cannot be overstated. South Africa continues to face an epidemic of gender-based violence. Police statistics released for the second quarter of the 2023/2024 financial year recorded 10,516 rapes, 1,514 attempted murders, 14,401 assaults against women, and 881 women murdered over just three months.

Reflecting on these realities, my colleague Daniela Gennrich posed a deeply unsettling challenge: “Murder rate almost 10 per day? 881 in 90 days… This is genocide!” Her words refuse to allow us to become numb to statistics. Behind every number is a daughter, mother, sister, wife, friend, neighbour, and family whose lives have been forever changed.

Recently, we celebrated the historic Kairos moment of launching the *Interfaith Statement and Commitment to Action to End Gender-Based Violence. Its concluding words continue to challenge and inspire me:

“We believe that through our shared hopes and ideals, by acknowledging our shortcomings and committing to this decisive course of action, we can establish Ubuntu in our Rainbow Nation and transform into a Culture of Peace. You are invited to join this campaign and add your name and commitment to this Statement for the Commitment to Action to End GBVF in South Africa.”

Those words capture my own conviction.

My journey towards gender justice has been shaped by courageous women who have led, challenged, mentored, loved, corrected, and inspired me. They have helped me understand that allyship is never passive. It is active, intentional, courageous, and transformational.

The struggle for gender justice is not women’s work alone; it is the shared calling of women and men who choose to become active, positive, and present partners in building a just, safe, and flourishing society.

As men, we have a choice.

We can remain silent beneficiaries of patriarchal systems, or we can become active, positive, and present allies who intentionally work alongside women to transform our homes, churches, schools, workplaces, communities, and nation.

I choose the latter. I invite every man to choose the same.

Together, may we build an Ubuntu that restores dignity, advances justice, nurtures equality, and cultivates a Culture of Peace where every woman, man, girl, and boy can flourish in safety, freedom, and hope.

Will you join us?