Reports continue to emerge of sexual harassment, sexual abuse and other gender-based violence committed by clergy across denominations in South Africa. Survivors describe a painfully familiar pattern: grooming under the guise of counselling, sexual advances tied to spiritual favour or position in the church, and, when they speak out, being silenced in the name of protecting the church’s reputation. Cases have been documented by bodies such as the CRL Rights Commission and the Commission for Gender Equality, as well as by the media.

The most recent reported cases seem to have occurred in quite different church contexts. The first is a reported kidnapping and brutal rape of a young mother and murder of her tiny baby, allegedly by a self-proclaimed pastor from one of the many home-grown unregulated ‘mushroom’ churches in South Africa – in the company of one of his two wives. All to benefit from her life insurance policy, which they had somehow influenced her to take out with the pastor as beneficiary.

The second and third relate to the alleged grooming of teenage girls by two clergymen, both in large, formally structured registered churches, at least one of which has worked hard to establish strong organised safeguarding regulations and accountability systems. And yet, sexual abuse still happened. In one case, one of their clergy was allegedly able to stay under the radar for some years engaging in highly unethical abusive behaviour while hiding behind his clerical collar.

All these cases raise serious concerns about the safety of women and children in places of worship. It is not helpful to point fingers or simply to express outrage. We need to interrogate how such cases continue to happen, whether a church is highly regulated or not.

So how do we keep on hearing about such leaders, charged with the highest responsibility of caring for the spiritual wellbeing of their members, who continue to abuse their calling? In reality, only a few cases ever come to light. In our work, we continue to listen to women who have undergone similar abuse-related trauma, who have not felt able to speak out. Challenging someone who holds spiritual authority can mean being disbelieved, shamed, or cut off from your community, or even having your faith challenged; the cost is too great, so it becomes easier to pretend nothing happened and face your abuser every Sunday rather than report it.

This points to a systemic safeguarding failure in the religious sector and is not just about the failings of one denomination or a particular leader. Over the past 10 years or so, researchers have begun to name this phenomenon: spiritual abuse. This is where religious authority is exploited to manipulate, control, harm, intimidate or silence others by claiming that it is God-ordained. It may involve distorting the meaning of sacred texts or misusing normal religious practices like prayer, counselling or even fellowship and belonging, in ways that pressurise people into actions, words or beliefs that serve the interests of the leader or the institution while actually doing harm.

The problem with spiritual abuse is that it is not always easily identifiable and can creep in gradually as a religious leader becomes more powerful or popular, or an institution is seen to offer people answered prayers or the sense of belonging they have been yearning for. In South Africa’s revised Domestic Violence Act, this kind of gradual process of gaining increasing control over another person has been identified as ‘coercive control’. This is a whole pattern of behaviour rather than discrete events – it is about the extent to which institutions and their members give power to certain spiritual authorities, which makes it increasingly difficult to question them, or even to recognise their controlling behaviour for what it is.

What makes spiritual abuse particularly dangerous is that it is often used to condone, normalise or perpetrate other forms of abuse (such as sexual or financial abuse), using its influence to gradually shape its members’ attitudes and beliefs – which means that abuse can remain hidden for a long time as normalised behaviour. A story that comes to mind is of a young woman who landed a lucrative job and decided to buy a car for the first time in her life. She was then told to increase her tithe to an impossible figure to show how much she loved God, until she was unable to pay her monthly instalments and had to sell her car. A recent story is of a married woman unable to have children who was told that God would ‘bless her with a child’ by sleeping with the pastor. In essence, a person’s deep and good desire to serve God can become exploited in ways that can ultimately cause them to do things contrary to what is best for them.

What makes it even more insidious is that spiritual abuse is not necessarily perpetrated only by religious leaders themselves. Sometimes, their influence is such that others do that task for them (often without realising the harm they may be doing). For example, it is not uncommon for family members to pressurise their daughter to stay in abusive relationships because Jesus said “what God has brought together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6, KJV). Citing this statement as a universal law totally out of context is essentially using God’s name to force a woman to stay in a miserable relationship even though it may well kill her.

Coercive control entails patterns of domination that generally creep up over time.  It is essentially a process of religious grooming, which means often victims don’t realise what is happening, and even if they are uncomfortable, they may blame themselves or ‘worship’ their abuser.

While the impacts of any form of abuse are extremely damaging and may forever destroy a person’s ability to live life fully, the consequences of spiritual abuse associated with these other forms of abuse are compounded immeasurably. Survivors may experience not only trauma,  fear and confusion but also a crisis of faith in God, theological confusion and severe mental health challenges. Cheryl Zondi, the key complainant in the case against evangelist Timothy Omotoso, has described this sense of disorientation a “hijacking of the mind”.

So what are we to do?

It is vital that every person of faith, and especially faith leaders themselves, look out for the warning signs and address them before coercive control sets in to the extent that it has become normalised and makes way for criminal behaviours. Do not ignore the signs because you believe that your institution or your leader is above reproach. Our places of worship are led by human beings.  

The first thing is to understand the warning signs, such asintolerance for questions and doubts, the Bible being used to arouse fear, guilt or shame, or rigid “us vs. them” binaries (either you are in or out). Also look out for leaders who demand unwavering loyalty, or who make threats to those who don’t comply that they will be cut off from the community or God. Or it could be the opposite – be wary of a leader who offers above-and-beyond care, but in ways that cross ethical, emotional, or spiritual boundaries, thus creating unhealthy dependence or a sense of being indebted to the leader.

Secondly, have the courage to speak up. This can be dangerous, however, particularly for the victim but also for anyone who speaks up when something makes them uncomfortable. It can have serious consequences. Those who speak out may be accused of dividing the church or damaging its witness, being driven by emotions of jealousy or bitterness, being a gossip, or even being an attention-seeker (especially for a child or teen). Speaking up may mean losing one’s ministry, one’s reputation, or being excluded from the entire community.  This is why it is vital that other congregational leaders, or men in general, speak up as allies of a complainant, and call out predatory behaviour – however powerful the perpetrator is.

Sadly, even if the red flags become more obvious, they can be ignored for years because of belonging, worship and purpose outweighing the negative impacts of coercive control. Until, it becomes undeniable, often when it is too late and much harm has already been done.

Stand with survivors. Do not be silent or complicit with attempts to silence or discredit complainants. Listen to them and ask them what support they need. Do not decide what survivors need and never break confidentiality. Work with support organisations and the authorities to make sure allegations are taken seriously and survivors are treated with dignity.

Do not assume because you are not directly involved, that it is OK to ignore it. Silence is violence as much as the vocal attempts to silence those who speak up.

And what is required of our religious institutions and their leaders? Do not protect the religious freedom and reputation of your place of worship at the expense of the life and wellbeing of those who are victims of spiritual and other forms of abuse.

If the faith sector is truly to offer leadership and become a credible partner to end GBV in society. We need to have the courage to let go of our institutional certainties and be willing to transform our organisational culture, our religious practices and assumptions, our theologies and how we use our sacred texts. When cases do occur, we need to be accountable. We need transparent reporting, safeguarding, external independent oversight, and we need to train our counsellors to offer trauma-aware, healing-informed pastoral care. Jesus warned his disciples that false or true prophets can be identified not by their charisma or their popularity, but “by their fruits” (Matthew 7:15-16). What are the fruits of our ministries as people and institutions of faith?

Only once we have truly faced the uncomfortable questions raised in this article, will our institutions, and we as people of faith, be able to offer safety, take preventive measures and support the long hard journeys towards healing of those whom we are called to serve – the most vulnerable and most marginalized amongst us.

About us

WWSOSA was founded in 2013 after research showed that survivors felt deeply let down by their religious leaders. It is the Secretariat of the Faith Action Collective to End GBV, an interfaith movement of faith leaders, scholars and activists from eight faith traditions. WWSOSA continues to create safe and courageous spaces to talk about spiritual abuse, and works with faith leaders through the Faith Leaders Gender Transformation Programme as they transform their own institutions.

Media enquiries:
Gil Harper | +27 82 434 5874 | communication@wwsosa.org.za
Daniela Gennrich | +27 84 581 0622 | coordinator@wwsosa.org.za

The KZN Interfaith Collective to end GBVF, spearheaded by the South African Hindu Maha Sabha, is holding a 5km Walk against Gender-Based Violence and Femicide, which is a call to action to practically work on solutions to break the silence and end the violence.
Saturday, 31 October 2026
Walk: 08:30 | Speakers: 10:00
Suncoast Promenade, Durban
Dress code: Orange
Entries: www.sahms.org.za/gbvf-walk | 083 461 5125